One of our New Year's Resolutions was to share a little bit about ourselves. And you want to know something about me? Last year was the year I quit {almost} everything. Want to know something else? Last year I didn’t like who I was. Let me explain.
Probably one of the most frequently asked questions of us is “How do you do it all?” The answer for me this past year, was “Not very well.” First, let me preface this by saying, I’m speaking only for myself. I recognize that every person juggles their hats differently, and every person has a different tolerance level for busyness. I would say that I have an above-average tolerance for busyness- it takes very little to stress me out. However, that level was completely maxed out last year.
I'm sure it had nothing to do with you, Mr. Berkus. You're too dang cute to cause much stress.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not complaining about the past year. No way. I have a fabulous life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And I have to admit, I really liked it when someone said “oh my gosh- I don’t know how you do it all! You are so inspiring!” On the outside, it looked like I had it all together and that it just wasn’t a big deal to juggle all those things. All of that busyness was of my own making. Yup, I said it. But if you were in my home every day, you’d know that I was short-tempered with my husband and wasn’t allotting any quality time for him. I was hurrying my kids through their day, not really focusing on them, just waiting for naptime to come. I was comparing myself to other bloggers and feeling badly about my projects. My confidence took a hit because I was so focused on how good other people’s stuff is and how insignificant my stuff was. I got uber-upset when a criticism would come along. I wasn’t enjoying my life. Period. I felt like I couldn’t ever give 100% to anything I was doing because I was spread so thin. I was exhausted.
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I finally realized that I needed to simplify my life a bit so that I could really focus on the things that matter most to me: my faith, my family, this little ol’ blog and the opportunities that might come as a result of it. I quit my job and stopped coaching tennis. I have dedicated myself to enjoying my babies while I still have them at home. I’ve stopped putting pressure on myself to come up with the best projects ever, and am just creating things that I love. I’ve developed the ability to say no, if I know it will negatively impact my family. I figure that I won’t ever look back and wish I had worked more and spent less time with my family. I’m happier, more focused and more productive. Plus, my kids think I’m more fun. I’m not saying it’s all better. I’m a work in progress and I’m still tempted to compare myself with others. In fact, it's often still really hard to say"no" to good things, especially when I know it may disappoint people.
So, what am I saying? I guess my hope is that you'll realize that it's ok to say no to some things, even when it feels like you're letting people down (I'm a HUGE people-pleaser, and this was hard for me to learn). I know that it's not possible for everyone to quit their job to pursue just the stuff that gives them joy, but there are tons of good things that we can do with our time, that don't fulfill our goals in life. I encourage you to evaluate what's important to you, and then pursue those things. Don't bog yourself down with stuff you think you're supposed to be doing, just because it makes other people happy or even because you like the appearance of being busy. Figure our your priorities, and cut out all that junk that messes with them. Just my two cents.: )
So, how about you? Do you over commit or are you good at saying no?